Copacabana, Puno, Arequipa and Colca Canyon

I will start this post with a brief description of Copacabana in Bolivia, which nestles beside the majestic Lake Titicaca - it is shite. It is a dirty little town that had a 'carnival' going on for the whole time we were there. I will describe the scenario so my pain may be dissipated vicariously - a 'band' 'played' their instruments for approximately 14 hours a day outside our hotel, but it appeared they were briefed with the following instruction, "bang your instrument as loudly as you can and pay no particular attention to timing, rhythm or melody. As for dancing, have a p*ssed off look on your face and just do a 130 degree turn in one direction and then switch to the other direction (like an AC circuit) whilst twirling your skirt, and under NO circumstances try to improvise". I trust I have conveyed the message that I thoroughly enjoyed this local spectacle.

Thankfully the town also lacked a cash machine, meaning we couldn't withdraw the bunse to do a tour to Isla Del Sol (which by all accounts is actually beautiful) which hastened our premature exit to Puno, on the Peruvian side of the lake. What a relief! Cash machines, internet, excellent vegetarian restaurants, nice people and an abundance of good quality artisan items. We did a tour to the floating Uros reed islands which was interesting enough to occupy us for a few hours. We didn't stick around long though and made our way to Arequipa, which is the base city to explore Colca Canyon (deepest canyon in the world, twice as deep as Grand Canyon) from.

Arequipa is big! When we approached it at night in our bus it looked as big as LA or London! Quite surprising. It's a pleasant and vibrant city and - wait for it - Cressy and I went to a museum! Second shocking fact - it was actually interesting! There are the mummified remains of a female Inca teenage sacrifice victim on display, preceded by a very informative and captivating National Geographic video. An excellent guide furnished us with the perfect quantity of pertinent information and the whole experience only lasted about 40 minutes. In brief, the Incas believed that the volcanoes were actually gods and an eruption signified that they were angry. In order to appease them, human sacrifices were offered and it was considered a privilege to be chosen as the sacrificial offering. When the guide told me that I actually thought, "bullshit!" but according to the literature the claim holds true! The main mummy (Juanita) was behind screens being restored as part of an annual conservation program but the replacement was still an excellent example of a child body preserved by the extreme cold at the top of the volcano.

Enough history now. 3 days ago we set off on our trek of Colca Canyon, which was bloody hard! The scenery was stunning and there were two ascents, the longest of which was 1,100 metres on the last day up a steep rocky path in the pouring rain. At over 3,000 metres above sea level breathing was very difficult and at times Cressy and I declared that we reached 7 out of a possible 10 on the fed up scale! When we reached the summit I literally screamed (note 'screamed', and not shouted) with delight and felt like hugging everyone. To add to my delirium the hostel had the best shower in the world (ever, officially) and I could have spent the whole night in it. We toasted our success with a few Mojitos in the local bar and all agreed that I was in fact the best climber despite my apparent lack of quadricep muscles and legs that look like arms.

As it was such an achievement, we decided to celebrate again upon our return to Arequipa by having Mexican food, drinking beer then going to a karaoke bar and drinking lots of good quality rum and Coke. I was horrified by the version of Bill Withers' 'Lean on Me' they had and duly refused to sing, but was quietly amused by the inexplicable soft porn video they had to accompany it.

We head to Cusco tomorrow evening to seek pastures new and further adventure.

La Paz

We´re in La Paz, Bolivia, hence the title of this entry.

It is boring! I think I´ve come to realise that cities in general are quite boring - generally the focal points tend to be churches and museums, which by their very nature are intended to inflict boredom and a desperation to leave on the poor souls that enter.

Cressy is going to do the DEATH ROAD cycle route, also known affectionately as ´The World´s Most Dangerous Road´ tomorrow. Can you imagine why I won´t be joining her?! To be fair, lots of people do it every day and only about 60% die, which is a favourable statistic. It does not appeal to me at all! I am a complete wuss and not great on a bicycle, so it would have been a pointless exercise and a waste of money if I joined her. Luckily there is another person from our hostel who will be accompanying her. I will be thinking of her as I sit in the comfort of the hostel bar and watch football ALL DAY!

I must have eaten something dodgy last night as I felt absolutely turd last night and this morning and was sick! Imodium is officially a life saver. Whoever invented it deserves the Nobel Peace Prize I think. I can´t think of anything it won´t fix - water leak? Imodium. Diarrhea? Imodium. Unemployed? Imodium. I challenge anyone to suggest a situation that Imodium cannot fix!

We´re looking forward to moving on to Lake Titicaca, Peru and the Inca Trail in particular. It´s terrible what has happened there and we know someone who is still stranded in Aguas Calientes, the small town at the foot of Machu Picchu. Selfishly, I hope everything is ok by the time we come to do the walk, but more importantly I hope normality returns to the lives of those affected by the flooding and landslides.

Rafael Benitez is the bane of my life. I am having sleepless nights and am totally unable to enjoy my holiday because of him - can someone please inform him of this and ask that he resigns as a result? Thanks.

Keep it real and spread the love people.

Electricity and Internet - Hallelujah!

We just arrived into Uyuni in Bolivia after a 4 day tour of the salt flats in Bolivia, which was amazing! The scenery was spectacular and we had great banter with our compatriots from Nueva Zelanda who were lucky enough to have a sense of humour and demeanour which was approcaching the quality of ours! Mine in particular...

It is relieving in a way to be back to ´civilisation´ i.e. to have internet, telephone, and running water again. I am surprised by how little I missed it actually - I suspect it is because we were kept so busy and the altitude took a lot to get used to - at times we were nearly 5000 metres above sea level!

On the first day of our tour we arrived into our accommodation, which was possibly the most remote town / settlement I have ever seen in my life. Imagine driving through dusty desert for about 7 hours, passing literally no sign of life other than flamingoes and the odd llama on the way to then arrive at a collection of 20 or so houses made from mud bricks. The altitude was 4,400 metres above sea level, so of course we did the sensible thing and played basketball with local kids, to discover that we ran out of breath just walking on to the court. We were outclassed by a group seven year olds, so of course I did the sensible thing and bullied on account of their inferior height and weight.

The final day was fantastic and we did the mandatory perspective photos on the salt flats, which was amazing fun! Soon they will be added to Facebook, much to my delight.

These four days have been fantastic and it was fun, fun and more fun.

Looking forward to the next part of our adventure with great anticipation.

Fush and Chups

We are in Bolivia!

I felt a sense of elation when we arrived here because I think I had reached my limit with Argentina - I was sick of people who worked on buses doing their, " I couldn´t give a sh&t that you´re vegetarian, just scrape the ham off" face. We even had to queue for 2 hours just to leave the country!!

Bolivia is a world apart. For a start, everyone is a lot shorter and it is apparent that poverty is commonplace. I was so pleased to find our bus we were taking to Tupiza was old, horribly painted, uncomfortable and only just fit for the job - that is what travelling is about! However, I also felt guilty and slightly voyeuristic - whilst everything seemed more ´South American´ and ´cultural´it is simply because people are poorer and have fewer of life´s luxuries. What is a novelty for me is reality for these people every day and I am certain it is not pleasing for them. The only solution was to flog myself and apologise for my conduct during the war - I feel a lot better now.

We bumped into a lovely couple from New Zealand (Nuck and Keem, aka Nick and Kim) on the bus whom we´d chatted to for a wee while in Mendoza and we´ve been hanging around with them ever since. We all went on a jeep tour, mountain bike descent of 800 metres and horse riding tour in the desert yesterday and we´re going on a 4 day tour of the salt flats and surrounding area tomorrow. We were due to leave today but poor old Nick got sick so we delayed for a day - the good news is that I got to see some Premiership football! Every cloud...

We´re at an altitude of about 3000 meteres and it is weird how the smallest of actions require me to summon a lot of energy! Today has been knackering - walking to the post office of course required a rewarding trip to the ice cream shop and I imagine to stay true to form we will drink beer later.

I am considerig writing a small book called, ´Cressyisms´. Entry 1: "Is Holland in Denmark?"

More to follow...

Good Times Coupled with Organised Chaos

We have been kept busy over the last week or so meeting Realgap's partner in Buenos Aires. It was excellent fun to spend time with them as they are very professional, efficient and hospitable. They showed us around very worthwhile and challenging volunteer projects, their fantastic Spanish school and some of the extra activities they organise for the participants. They paid for literally EVERYTHING, which of course means that they received a very favourable write up in my report. The moral of the story – bribery is not dead! My highlight was playing in a mini football tournament and the partner paying for my participation – in my eyes it doesn't get better than that!! Oh and they took us to a vegetarian restaurant where the food was delicious – 'bags of flavour'!

It was a welcome change to be busy and have an itinerary again – I feel lost, slightly panicky and clammy when I don't have a schedule of activities much like when you remove routine from an old granny. Gaston's was great as he is incredibly hospitable and generous and organised lot of fun things to do, but in the last few days it felt to me like a majority of our time was just spent sleeping in late and eating – I almost felt suffocated at times and just wanted to run around and scream!

Something I've been very happy with is at least 95% of the people we've encountered on our trip have been very friendly and we've collected some new friends along the way. I find it really pleasing and refreshing that I can spend only a couple of days with a person and already feel a friendship forming. It reminds me that the vast majority of human beings are nice and do want to be friendly with each other, and it's only when bullshit like politics, money and religion get in the way that things start to go pear-shaped. Stick it to the man!

In a way I will also be glad to see the back of Argentina. I think you have to come here to know what I mean when I say that even buying a bottle of water is an arduous task at times. There exists a level of inefficiency, stupidity, apathy and bureaucracy in their business operations that would be hard to replicate anywhere, even if a new country was started whose sole inhabitants were from O2's customer service call centre.

Exhibit A: Cressy and I planned to meet Gaston at his house in San Miguel, which is about 50 mins from the centre of BA. We walked from our hostel to the correct bus stop and waited half an hour. The bus arrived, I tried to pay, but was informed that the ticket machine on board only accepts coins. So we duly ran off the bus, tried to buy something from the kiosk next to the bus stop, to be greeted with the response from the belligerent shop owner, 'no moneda!', which means 'no coins'! So of course, the bus pulled away and left without us. I was subsequently informed from several reliable sources that there is a national shortage of coins and some businesses have to pay 5% above their face value to obtain them. SO WHY BLOODY MAKE BUSES ONLY ACCEPT COINS?! The answer from most locals is, 'this is Argentina'.

Exhibit B: Cressy and I wished to be efficient and save a journey to the bus station so decided to buy our bus tickets from Buenos Aires to Salta online. We discovered what a foolhardy decision this was in time! We duly turned up to the bus station half an hour before it was due to leave as advised, and I went straight to the desk to inform them that we are both vegetarian hence would like our dinners to be meat free. It is guaranteed that I will then have to answer, “no, we don't eat chicken or ham”, to an attendant showing a bemused and amused expression. We waited, stood vigilantly in front of the screens displaying the bus departure information, and started to become a little bit worried when it was 5 mins before the departure time and still there was no sign of our bus. I reminded myself, “this is Argentina” and had faith that it would still be on time, which roughly equates to half an hour late when translated into English. When it was 30 mins late, I went to the desk to check on whereabouts of our trusty steed, to be told, “oh, it left 15 minutes ago”. “Fantastic” I thought! But it got even better. The bus company that was running the service was changed as was the departure time on the same day it was due to leave, but there was no information anywhere to reflect this on the screens. When I asked how I was supposed to know about the changes the response I was met with approximately 20 times was, “you should have checked” and “it's not my problem”, accompanied by a shrug of the shoulders and a “please stop talking to me” look on their faces. So the good news was that we missed our bus and lost our money! Bastards (said in the voice of Rab C Nesbitt).

However, on the plus side, a lovely Argentinian family who witnessed our demise donated two hours of their time to try to help us get our money back from the waste-of-space and oxygen employees of the bus company (Andesmar, in case anyone needs a recommendation of who NOT to travel with in Argentina). It was an unsuccessful and thankless task but it was incredibly generous of the family (Sonja and Miguel with two children, in case anyone needs a recommendation of an Argentinian family to help you in a bus station).

Now we approach Salta with a cruising altitude of 15 feet (upstairs of the bus) and south westerly wind with approximate time of arrival of 'whenever they feel like it'. Bungee jumping, wine tasting (again), horse riding and general folly awaits.

Back in BA

As the title suggests, we`re back in Buenos Aires.

We returned to spend NYE with Gaston, his family and friends. It was a great evening spent with lots of nice people. Unfortunately, Gaston is both a sadist and a slave driver, so we stayed up until 6 a.m. drinking, dancing and singing (very badly). I knew the evening / morning was ready to come to an end when I looked at Gaston and thought he resembled a dribbling, disorientated baby. I am sure he thought the same about me.

Today I rose from my bed at 3:30 p.m. I soon realised this was a mistake, so returned for a little longer.

We just went for a walk for an hour, again decided it was a bad idea when it was nearly over, and now reside in our den with fizzy drinks, Sky+ and crisps.

2010 here we come!

Paragliding on Christmas Eve

I am back!

Buenos Aires was a mixed affair. I reminded myself why I tend to avoid cities, as at first it seemed the same as every other with its ornate plazas, long streets, busy traffic and hoards of people. The thing that distinguishes it from any other place I've visited in my life is the sheer volume of dog sh*t - I practically had to play hop scotch to avoid the brown stuff. Not pleasant! Further to that, our hostel was festered with a bunch of absolute wieners for the first day or so - no one was interested in chatting and just spent their time sitting and gawping at a television - I found it a claustrophobic environment and one that I wanted out of! The two stand-out characters who particularly induced my wrath were a couple of German girls travelling together who just sat and ate cereal all day and were as welcoming as a fart in a space suit (Connolly, 1993). When talking (painfully) to them over breakfast one morning they commented that they hadn't been out much in the evenings as "the places they had been to weren't safe for two European girls". Upon questioning them about which places they were referring to, they said, "Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia". So they weren't referring to individual cities or specific areas, oh no, they insinuated that entire countries were too dangerous for them! Their prejudices and inaccurate judgments irked me and from that point onwards, if I was in a room with them and their backs were turned, I would reel off a variety of rapid, silent and rude hand gestures, which, of course, is the adult thing to do. That taught them!

Now we're in Mendoza, which is a smaller and prettier city than BA in the mid/south of Argentina, famous for its fine red wine production and accompanying vineyards. Yesterday on Xmas eve Cressy and I did paragliding, which was excellent fun! We had to wait a few hours for the right conditions with wind etc ( I had a curry the night before) but once I got up there it was amazing fun!! With about 5 minutes to go during the flight, the pilot asked me if I was adventurous and would like to try some aerial acrobatics. My answer, of course, was, "no, because I am a wimp"! Eventually I relented and we did some steep turns on the way down which completely turned my stomach and made me feel rough, but it was a fantastic experience! However, the highlight of the trip was finding out that Alejandro's assistant, who helps him with preparing the parachute, was in fact a stripper and made more money in one weekend stripping than he does in one month with the paragliding! He also shaves his entire body, and even dropped his trousers to prove he shaves his legs. To be polite, I also dropped my trousers, to show what a proper set of hairy chicken legs should look like.

Now it's Christmas! It certainly does not feel like it as the weather is fantastic and I am in a hostel. I miss my family a lot, more than I thought Ｉ would actually, and am jealous of the fun and festivities they're having. Miss my friends too, all 757 of them!

Today will be a tranquil affair I believe but tomorrow we hit the vineyards and will rent bikes from a man called Hugo. Who wouldn't?